Dear Price Chopper,
PRO: Tonight I bought $42.00 worth of groceries and only paid $12 because I got a $30.00 DISCOUNT thanks to your Price Chopper Rewards program. That was FUCKING AWESOME! I LOVE the Rewards Program! Keep up the good work!
CON: These chewey, dried out, strips of worn out leather you harvested from the soles of a bunch of used wing-tips and penny-loafers you bought in bulk at the DAV Thrift Store and soaked in the worst BBQ sauce in KC (Zarda's) does not, I repeat, DOES FUCKING NOT, meet the definition of "BBQ Brisket" as displayed on the label in front of said "meat".
In the interest of "truth in advertising", you should re-label your offering thusly:
"This is 165 year old Franklin Artic Expedition 'last choice before resorting to cannabilism' rations infused with slightly molasses flavored diarrhea".
Yours In Christ,
Xavier Onassis
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