Comic Book Thor vs. Movie Thor

So Kenneth Branagh is directing "Thor" as part of the Marvel movie arc leading up to "The Avengers".

This is the classic Silver Age version of the Nordic God of Thunder.





OK, that blue, sleeveless, spandex outfit with the bright yellow belt & leggings and pointless silver circular things on his chest?

Yeah there ain't no way to make that shit work on the big screen.

In much the same way that this Silver Age Batman



would never work on the modern Big Screen and needed to be reimagined as The Dark Knight.



Luckily, Marvel has, on occasion, reimagined Thor. As in this badass version:





Which seems to be the inspiration for this first pic of Chris Hemsworth in costume as Thor:



I think this is going to work.

The Easy Fix For Illegal Immigration

Let's just cut to the chase.

The answer is a National Identification Card.

Everyone gets one when they are born. Name, SSN, parents names & SSNs, recorded.

Citizens get one.

If you don't have one, you're not a citizen.

If the Tea Baggers were serious about cracking down on illegal immigrants, they would be pushing for this.

A piece of plastic with an RFID chip, a barcode and a magnetic stripe.

Problem solved, right?

On The Business End Of A Saturn V

Apollo 11 Saturn V Launch (HD) Camera E-8 from Mark Gray on Vimeo.

(Be sure to click the little half-asterisk thingy netween the bars and the "vimeo" to get the full screen version.)

The mobile launch pad takes quite a beating under the full fury of five F1 engines churning out 7.5 million pounds of hellish thrust.

The narration explaining what you are seeing is awesome.

Humans made all this stuff.

Americans made all this stuff.

But now we don't know how to make it anymore because politicians are pandering pussies who don't understand science or engineering and can't take a long view towards human civilization.

Fuckers.

Baby Emma vs. Sean Goldman

Earlier today, my friend @bullevard (check out his beer blog and food blog) asked what I thought about the Baby Emma saga.

CLIFF NOTES:

Unmarried couple expecting a child agree that they will decide, together, what they are going to do.

Woman goes into labor, doesn't tell father, goes into hiding, puts baby up for adoption to Mormons in Utah.

Father finds out and immediately starts fighting to get his daughter back.

Draconian Utah adoption laws make it virtually impossible for a single, non-Mormon, out-of-state parent to get an adoption overturned.

One year later, mother is sorry, regrets. Father still fighting. Utah still cock-blocking evryone.

I think, nay, I am certain, that @bullevard was trying to light me up because of my response to the David Goldman case.

CLIFF NOTES:

David Goldman knowing took his Brazillion wife Bruna and his 4 year old son Sean to the airport for what was to be a 2 week vacation to visit her family in Brazil.

She gets down there, decides she Sean ain't comin' back. She divorces David, gets remarried, gets pregnant and dies in childbirth.

Bruna's family decide to keep Sean in Brazil and have the political connections to make that happen.

A 5 year long custody and child support battle ensues during which David Goldman pays no child supprt and the family in Braxil refuse to grant him access.

Sean is now 9 years old. The only family he has any clear memory of is his mother's family in Brazil. All of his friends and emotional connections are in Brazil.

Along comes this virtual stranger from America wanting to rip Sean away from the only family he has ever known.

THE ISSUE (for me):

As parents, we are obligated to elevate the best interests of our children above our own needs and desires.

I think the father in the Baby Emma case is doing that. His daughter is only a year old. She hasn't had ttime to develop any lasting emotional ties to anyone.

There is still time for him to get his daughter back so that they can form that lasting bond together.

I think he is sacrificing his own needs and wants as a young man and is working in the best interest of his daughter.

The Goldman case was different.

Sean Goldman spent all of his life that he could remember, from the age of 4 to 9 in the custody of his mother's family in Brazil. They loved him and he loved them. He went to school in Brazil for 5 years. Kindergarten through 4th grade. The only friends he had were in Brazil. The only family he had were in Brazil.

David Goldman spent 5 years determined to rip him out of the only loving environment he had ever know so he could be forced to spend time with him, a stranger in a strange land.

I don't think David Goldman was sacrificing his own needs and wants for his child. I think he was putting his own pride and bruised ego above the best interests of his son.

I think if David Goldman cared more about his son than himself, he would have swallowed his pride and worked things out with his ex-wife's family.

He could have gotten routine access to Sean and built a relationship with his son. After some trust and goodwill had been established, he might have been granted partial custody by Brazillion authorities. In time, maybe even full custody, with the Brazillian families blessing.

One More Thought On Arizona

So the core problem here is that some of the residents of Arizona think Arizona has too many Messicans!

Keep in mind that the majority of Arizona residents aren't from Arizona. They retired there from somewhere else.

Maybe, just maybe, (thinking outside the box here) the reason that Arizona has so many Mexicans is because ARIZONA USED TO BE PART OF MEXICO!!! We stole it at the barrel of a whole lot of guns during the Mexican-American War in 1848!



As the descendants of the original residents are fond of saying, "We didn't come to America! America came to us!"

It reminds me of when my dad and step-mom returned from their first trip to Hawaii and complained that the trip was spoiled by all the foreigners there, i.e. native Hawaiians, Polynesians, Asians, ya know PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MIDDLE OF THE FUCKING PACIFIC OCEAN! Not exactly a traditional Anglo-Saxon/Nordic homeland! That's because we stole Hawaii too!

At least we bought Alaska fair and square from those dumb Rooskies! But to their credit, compared to Siberia, Alaska looked like a hard to access Rhode Island to them and they probably figured they were getting the better part of the deal by unloading it on us.

Does no one else think it's odd that we have 2 states that we can't get to without going through a whole lot of Canada or a whole lot of ocean?

But I digress.

Here's a simple Rule of Thumb to remember.

If you invade someone else's land, steal it and call it your own, don't bitch and whine about having a large contigent of native inhabitants who not only refuse to leave but continue to invite their friends and relatives to come and visit.

Get the fuck over it.

The Arizona Situation

The Arizona Senate passed, and Arizona Governor Jan Brewer signed into law, Senate Bill 1070.

This is a state law which makes it illegal to be in the United States illegaly, in Arizona.

This is an attempt by the State of Arizona to usurp Federal Immigration Law.

This will absolutely be struck down by the Supreme Court. Federal law always supercedes state law. Like it or not, the Civil War effectively decided that question.

The main concern is that this new law will give self-promoting, show-boating, rascist ass-hatts like Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio free reign to pull over any dark-complexioned person and start grilling them about their citizenship.

They claim that racial profiling cannot take place because the Po Po are only required to inquire about a suspect's citizenship if they are investigating another matter such as a traffic stop. They must have "probable cause".

But guess what? Olie Svenson who retired from the Minneapolis Department of Transportation and moved to Tuscon can call the police and say "Hey der. Hate to bodder you but ders dis Messican mowin' de lawn next door der, and I think he might be one o' dem 'illegal immigrants'. Ya might want to check him out! He looks pretty dark to me!"

Boom! Probable cause. Legitimate citizen report of possible illegal activity. Now the police can go question Olie's Mexican neighbor to if his "papers are in order" without any obligtion to see if Olie's "papers are in order".

That's bullshit.

The United States cannot have 50 different International Immigration Laws.

Can Arizona just make up their own foreign policy? Nope! They don't get to decide who gets into America (of which they are a part). Not their call.

Should The United States shit or get off the pot and decide how they are going to address and ENFORCE immigration on every border (not just the Mexican)? Absofuckinglutely.

If we are going to have a fence between the U.S. and Mexico we should build a fence between the U.S. and Canada. Immigration policy and border enforcement should be consistant, not conditional.

We need a comprehensive immigration policy which applies equally to all borders and is enforced with the same effort.

Why Separation of Church And State Is A Good Idea

Ephesians 6:15
Servants, be obedient to them that are your masters according to the flesh, with fear and trembling, in singleness of your heart, as unto Christ;

Ephesians 5:22
Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord.

Colossians 3:22
Slaves, in all things obey those who are your masters on earth, not with external service, as those who merely please men, but with sincerity of heart, fearing the Lord.

Timothy 6:1
All who are under the yoke as slaves are to regard their own masters as worthy of all honor so that the name of God and our doctrine will not be spoken against.

Titus 2:9
Urge bondslaves to be subject to their own masters in everything, to be well-pleasing, not argumentative,

This from The Good Book.



You'll have to pardon me if I cast some Judeo Christian ethics aside when detrmining how to live my life and raise my child.

My Awesome Daughter

In case you aren't a regular reader and haven't figured this out already, my 16 year old daughter and I are best friends. We are so much alike it's frightening.

As evidenced by a couple of recent text exchanges.

EXCHANGE 1:

GTO: "Remember when you used to take me to the park and push me super high on the swing?"

Me: "Of course I do! ZOOM!!!"

GTO: "I'm at the park and I just remembered that! I love you dad."

Me: "Aww! I love you too!"

EXCHANGE 2:

GTO: "I'm not busy this Sunday".

Me: "Excellent! Let's have brunch and hang out!"

GTO: "Stuff white people like. Brunch. But yes. I concur."

Me: "LOL! We be white! I'm one cracker mofo!"

GTO: "Hahahaha... God I hate you. Jimmy* read that! I'm embarassed"

Me: "Ahahahahahaha! Schweeeeet!"

GTO: "I need to add that to your 'nono' words**".

Me: "You can do that on Sunday!"

GTO: "Okay!"

*Jimmy is her boy friend. He's 16. He plays guitar. In a band. He has gauged ears the size of quarters!

**The "No-No Word" list was the result of a FEMALE CONSPIRACY between my daughter and my BFF to limit what I can say IN MY OWN HOME!

This list includes, but apparently is not limited to:

1. "Pimptastic"
2. "Weak Sauce"
3. "BOOYAH!"
4. "I'm a HOOT!"
5. "Your mom!"
6. "I like Star Trek!"
7. 3-Day *anything* (As in "You 3-Day ugly! You was ugly yesterday, you ugly today, and you gonna be ugly tomorrow!")
8. Food Baby. (That super-full feeling in your tummy after a big meal.)
9. "Don't hate the Playah, hate The Game!"
10. "Da Bomb"
11. "Pad"
12. "Crib"

I'm single, I live alone and yet women still find a way to rule my life.

WTF? LOL!

The Gaia Hypothesis?

A handful of Right Wing Nut Jobs are trying to claim that that the erupting volcano in Iceland, Eyjafjallajokull (pronounced "ay-yah-FYAH-lah-yer-kuhl"...really, motherfuckers? some English phoneticist somewhere really thinks that helps?) is spewing more greenhouse gasses into the atmosphere than all of greenhouse gasses ever produced by humans in the history of the planet Earth! Therefore the idea that human activity is responsible for global climate change (yes Change, not Warming...human activity and emissions disrupt normal weather patterns leading to warming in some areas, colling in other areas and a change in the flow of oceanic and atmospheric currents) must be FALSE!




Well, first of all, I'll wait for a peer reviewed scientific paper by educated people who know what the fuck they are talking about analyzing the output of that unpronounceable fucking volcano before I blindly accept the bold assertion of some blogger with a political agenda.

Second of all, they demonstrate their ignorance of science and, well, rationality, by making that claim in the first place.

It's like claiming that because the detonation of Big Ivan released more radioactivity than all of the medical X-Rays ever given and we're all still here, radioactivity must not be harmful to humans!




Apparently they lack the mental discipline to distinguish between a single, huge, one-time, local event and a lower level, sustained, global event that persists over hundreds of years.

A chemical rocket, like the Saturn V, can explode with over 1.7 million pounds of thrust and hurl a payload at extraordinary speeds. But much like an 18 year old boy, it only lasts a few minutes.



But an Ion or Plasma rocket can generate very little thrust over very long periods of time and achieve much greater velocities.




The volcano vs. human argument has no basis in fact and is put forth by people who don't know what they are talking about.

But if you adhere to a New Age Hippie point of view, the eruption of whateverthfuckyoucallit could actually PROVE that human-caused global climate change is true.

"The entire range of living matter on Earth from whales to viruses and from oaks to algae could be regarded as constituting a single living entity capable of maintaining the Earth's atmosphere to suit its overall needs and endowed with faculties and powers far beyond those of its constituent parts...[Gaia can be defined] as a complex entity involving the Earth's biosphere, atmosphere, oceans, and soil; the totality constituting a feedback of cybernetic systems which seeks an optimal physical and chemical environment for life on this planet."

Dr James Lovelock - Gaia - A New Look at Life on Earth"

The eruption of Mt. Pinatubo in 1991 was MUCH larger than Eyewannafeelya in Iceland.

"In June 1991, the second largest volcanic eruption of the twentieth century took place on the island of Luzon in the Philippines, a mere 90 kilometers (55 miles) northwest of the capital city Manila.

Up to 800 people were killed and 100,000 became homeless following the Mount Pinatubo eruption, which climaxed with nine hours of eruption on June 15, 1991.

On June 15, millions of tons of sulfur dioxide were discharged into the atmosphere, resulting in a decrease in the temperature worldwide over the next few years."

Under the Gaia Hypothesis, one could make the argument that these volcanic eruptions are an effort by the Gaia Super organism to maintain a habitable environment by hurling enough material into the stratosphere to shade and cool the Earth, thereby counteracting the effects of the warming caused by human activity.

I sincerely hope (and believe) that this is not true. Because the Gaia Hypothesis can be extrapolated to include the concept that when the Earth becomes too crowded to be sustainable, Gaia would produce sufficient quantities of disasters and disease to cull the population to a more sustainable level.

Thank goodness we haven't seen any new, weird diseases cropping up.

Right?

I'm Going To Do This! Who Wants In?

See this picture?

It was taken from the edge of space by some MIT students who lofted a digital camera housed in a styrofoam beer cooler stuffed with newspaper and wrapped in duct tape dangling from a weather balloon filled with helium.

It reached an altitude of about 93,000 feet! That's 17.3 miles high!

Total cost of this near-space mission? Less than $150.00.

Seriously.

Here's how they did it.

"The GPS receiver was a Motorola i290 “Boost Mobile” prepaid phone with internet and GPS capability (set up with Accutracking to constantly report its GPS location).

We bought a AA-battery cell phone charger to sustain the phone’s power over the duration of the flight, and we used Energizer lithium batteries (rated to operate at temperatures are low as -40F) to power both this charger as well as our camera.

As a further safeguard against electronic/battery failure due to low temperature, we utilitzed Coleman disposable hand warmers (placed near our electronics) to help keep our equipment warm in the cold of the stratosphere.

We loaded a Canon A470 camera (bought used on Amazon) with CHDK open source software to enable a feature which allowed the camera to take pictures continuously (intervalometer). Using this feature, we set the camera to take a picture every 5 seconds at a 1/800 second shutter speed. With an 8GB card, the camera was able to chronicle the whole journey of the balloon from launch to retrieval. (~5 hours)"

For a few more bucks more and some smart phone apps I think we could put together an even more ambitious mission profile and show those smarmy little MIT pricks a thing or two.

I'm ready to assemble a team to do this.

Are you in?

The Sixties Are Over. Again.

Billy Jack (Tom Laughlin) was the hippie's Chuck Norris.

The character of Billy Jack first appeared in 1967's "Born Losers".



That was followed by the Billy Jack movies, "Billy Jack", "The Trial of Billy Jack" and, yes, wait for it, "Billy Jack Goes to Washington".

I gotta say, at the time, they were very popular movies. We were all pacifist, stoner hippies and here you had this half Native American (the character, not the actor), ex Green Beret (the character, not the actor), mystic-warrior (the character, not the actor) who REALLY WANTED to be peaceful, but understood that sometimes a roundhouse kick to the face was the only way to convey PEACE!



He was the hippie super hero.

"Yeah, we're all peaceful and shit. But if you fuck with us, Billy Jack will kick your ass so we can stay all focused on being non-violent."

But the 60's are over.

You know how I know?

Because you can buy an iconic, wool felt, Billy Jack hat, personally certified by Tom Laughlin (SRP $529.00) for only $500.00! If you would prefer a fur felt hat, you can email Tom Laughlin at billyjackorders@yahoo.com and he can make that happen. For considerably more money.

Oh, and there is a shipping charge.

Wait for it...

$75.00 fucking dollars! To ship a goddamn hat!

For that amount of money I should be able to ship a gold brick with Priority Overnight, 10am Next Day shipping.

It's a fucking hat!

A hat that would only look somewhat in place if you used it to cover the "business up front" part of your mullet at the next Santa Cali Gon Days Festival.

So yeah. The sixties are officially over with a fatal roundhouse kick to the face delivered by Billy Jack.

Put The Supernatural Bullshit Aside And Grow Up.

OK, so I'm watching "The Buddha" on KCPT despite having to tolerate Richard Gerbil's narration.

There is all of this bullshit about Siddhārtha living for years eating nothing more than a single grain of rice a day. Some nonsense about him walking a jewelled walkway while he shot out fire and water from his body and filling the sky with clones of himself while sitting on a lotus blossom.

Oh please!

Here is the thing.

Buddha had some good ideas for living a good life.

Live in the moment. Love everything. Want nothing.

The only catch is that you can't get there by wanting to get there. Because that's wanting something. But putting that aside for the moment...

The Jewish people had some good ideas. The 10 Comandments. Good rules to live by.

Don't steal shit from other people.

Don't fuck other people's significant other's (unless it's a mutual, freaky-fun thing, which is always cool...CALL ME!).

Don't be greedy.

Don't kill people.

Be nice to your mom and dad.

Simple shit.

Don't get me started on Leviticus and the shellfish/homosexual/mixed fibers bullshit. That was Jewish beaurocracy gone mad with power.

Lighten the fuck up Jews.

Jesus had some great ideas.

Don't be a dick.

Love your neighbor.

Be nice to poor people.

Even if you don't have anything, be generous.

Don't use religion to rip people off.

Do good things for people and people will do good things for you.

Allah.

OK, I don't know of any good ideas Allah had. Most of Allah's rules seem to revolve around restricting behavior and freedom to a much greater degree than any of the other Abrahamic faiths.

But here's the thing.

I think most of these codes for living a Good Life stand up on their own without surrounding them with a bunch of supernatural clap-trap and hocus-pocus suggesting some Divine Mandate or penalty of Eternal Damnation or Salvation.

"Don't steal shit from people and they probably won't steal shit from you".

OK. I get that without believing in a God. Makes sense.

"Be nice to your parents".

They brought you into the world because they wanted you, tolerated your ungrateful whiney bullshit for decades without smothering you in your sleep (which they individually considered without discussing) and you owe them some simple courtesy for your existence. That's a good rule. Doesn't require the existence of a Divine Being to grasp.

Why can't we accept the fact that folks like Buddha, Hannibal, Moses, Jesus, Allah all had good ideas which intelligent people can incorporate into civilized societies without invoking all of this supernatural bullshit that inspires Holy Crusades and suicide bombers trading the depths of hopelessness for martyrdom?

I don't understand why people can't adopt and adhere to simple rules of human interaction without invoking Divine Supernatural Enities to throw down Rewards or Punishment.

It all seems so childish.

Grow up.

Dangerous Apps: A Public Service Announcement

Y'all know I've been having way too much fun with my new phone because I blogged about it here.

There are so many cool apps, many if not most of them free, that actually "being a phone" has become a small fraction of what this gadget in my pocket can actually do.

But in my search for cool apps, I stumbled upon some pretty scarey stuff that I want to warn you about.

It started when I searched for a voice recorder so I could record reminders for myself. Like "buy milk" or "download porn".

I quickly started finding things like "Stealth Recorder" The desciption says

"Use Shadyface Stealth Recorder to invisibly record audio conversations in the background! Use it to spy on friends, coworkers, your boss, your parents and your teachers! Leave it on the table and they'll have no idea.

Straight up Jason Bourne type stuff. Badass."

OK, that's a little bit scary, but mostly harmless, right?

But right after that was the Spy Recorder app which describes itself thusly:

"Do you need to Spy on someone? Is your boyfriend/girlfriend cheating on you? Are your boss or coworkers talking about you? Do you talk in your sleep? Are there ghosts while your sleeping?

If so, download the Spy Recorder to secretly record audio with your phone! Only Records when the sound level is above a threshold."

Not quite innocent fun and games anymore, is it?

But wait. It get's worse.

There is an app called M-Surveillance-Free.

"This application helps you to record audio and capture pictures, from THIS phone even when THIS phone is not physically present with you.

This application invokes the audio recorder or camera appication when it receives an SMS [text message] from a specified mobile phone. Paid version supports video and auto upload to YouTube."

OK, think about this.

It doesn't cost that much for someone to add a line to their phone plan because the phone companies encourage it. Add a line, get a phone cheap.

They could download a surveillance app to the phone and hide it in your home.

They could spy on you whenever they wanted by sending a text message to that phone and it would start recording video and audio. The paid version of the app could even upload the video to YouTube.

That's frightening. Especially when combined with the GPS Tracking capability.

So be careful and be aware.

That "cell phone" sitting on your coffee table or "lost" in the seat cushion of your car might be up to more mischief than is readily apparent.

Be safe.