The Christopher S. Bond Bridge in Kansas City

Someday, it will look like this...



But as of mid afternoon today, it looks like this...

Kansas University Coddles Thugs

Self promises discipline after football-basketball fracas at KU

"By J. BRADY McCOLLOUGH
The Kansas City Star

LAWRENCE | The day after a series of fights between Kansas football and basketball players revealed an ongoing feud between the programs, no public discipline was announced, although the university is now investigating the incidents."

College athletics programs are filled with coddled thugs who are pampered and protected by greedy administrators and coaches protecting their paychecks.

Here is how a REAL administrator would deal with the most recent KU crises.

Remove the students involved. Boot them out of the school. Then cancel the Basketball and Football season as a message to the rest of the students and faculty that this bullshit is unacceptable.

Being a really good jock does not entitle you to behave like a criminal.

If you behave like a criminal, you and other people will pay the price for your behavior.

And they probably won't be very fucking happy about it.

College sports programs don't contribute enough to society to get a pass for brutal, criminal, behavior.

Shut 'em down.

Roy Blunt and the Monkey Rule

Presented without comment or judgement.

You decide.

This is what Roy Blunt felt like he needed to say to the Family Research Council, Focus On The Family, Value Voters Summit, and conservatives in general.

He thought it would be appropriate to compare an anecdote about the efforts of British occupation forces in India at the turn of the century to build a golf course (that was frustrated by monkeys throwing golf balls) to the current political environment in Washington.

Is that appropriate?

Not a comment. Just a question.

Help Wanted Ad

JOB: There is a sleeper sofa in Olathe that needs to find it's way to a 2nd floor bedroom in Independence.

REQUIREMENTS: Truck or trailer large enough to accomodate full size sleeper sofa. Enough manpower to get it out of the garage, into the truck, and upstairs in Independence.

COMPENSATION: Negotiable. Money? Food? Sex? Talk to me.

TIME FRAME: As soon as possible.

Shopper's Parkade - September 23, 2009

This hideous monstrosity at 11th & Grand is called the Shopper's Parkade.



It's been closed and boarded up for years. The garage actually extended over the sidewalk and there was a bus stop there. It was dark, sheltered and had access to public transportation so it attracted bums, winos, derelicts, panhandlers, transients and psycho goon-babblers like a marshland attracts geese.

It was the sight of at least 1 drive-by shooting. I know because I happened to be walking by just moments after it happened. The police were standing around the still bleeding body waiting for the ambulance.

This open, puss-oozing, stench-filled sore on the crotch of Kansas City is finally going to be torn down.

Because there is nothing more fun than watching blue collar guys operating huge, powerful, machines tear stuff the fuck up, I'm going to document the awesome destruction on my blog.

My plan is to take a picture a day, everyday (except weekends) as long as there is something standing to take a picture of. Unless it's all rainy and shit. Or too cold. Or I forget. Or I get bored.

We'll see how this goes.

Saying Goodbye To Friends

September Blogger/Tweeter Gathering

Going away party for

@Bea
&
@Logtar

That's right ! They are moving to Chicago & leaving us! I'm not happy but a great job for Logtar is calling. And of course where he goes Bea will follow. So please join us wishing them the best.

Brooksider Sports Bar and Grill
6330 Brookside Plaza

Kansas City, Missouri 64113

816.363.4070

September 24th, 2009

5pm-?

The most rewarding thing for me about having a blog isn't the hits or the comments. It's not about statistics, it's about people.

Two of the most incredible people I've met through this blog are Logtar and Betizuka.

I'm mostly a self-centered, anti-social, asshole.

Logtar and Bea are the exact opposite of me. They are two of the most inclusive, open, friendly and loving people I've ever met. Combine that with incredible intellect and compassion and you have an amazing couple. Oh yeah, there's also the love. The love these two have for each other is something most people can only aspire to.

Someday, I hope I have a wife like Logtar.

I keed, I keed!

The sad part is, Logtar and Bea are leaving us and moving back to Chicago. Thankfully, we are all digitally inseperable so the sense of loss is somewhat mitigated.

But we will still be saying a formal goodbye to Logtar and Bea at the September Blogger Meet this Thursday.

Bloggers, blog readers, blog commentors, blog lurkers, tweeters, or curious bystanders are all welcome.

Scientific Literacy

The Pew Research Center posed 12 incredibly easy general science questions to 1,005 randomly sampled adults.

Only 10% of the people polled could answer all 12 questions correctly.

Seriously?

This is really, really basic stuff that informs and drives many decisions on public policy. If you don't know the facts, how can you make decisions that affect other people?

You can take the poll yourself here.

Idiots

I actually saw this bumper sticker on a car today on I-70.



:: sigh ::

Really? The entire Federal Government is a terrorist organization? The Confederacy was a band of Freedom Fighters? The Government is the enemy of the people?

Seriously?



Where to start?

Did you drive anywhere on any road today? If the answer is yes, thank the government.

Did your car get you there safely? If the answer is yes, thank the government.

Was the food you bought at the grocery store fresh, safe, healthy and uncontaminated? If the answer is yes, thank the government.

Was the gas you put in your car pure and undiluted with harmful contaminants? If the answer is yes, thank the government.

Have you ever been to court to get a divorce, an order of protection, sue someone who swindled you, or serve as witness against someone who committed a crime against you or someone you know? If the answer is yes, thank the government.

Are you able to read this in your own home in peace and safety, knowing that local, county and state law enforcement officers are a 3 digit phone call away? If the answer is yes, thank the government.

Do you have an internet connection, if the answer is yes, THANK THE GOVERNMENT.

I could go on but I'm getting tired and bored.

If you think that the government is the enemy, I encourage you to strip naked, and wander off into the woods armed with nothing but a sharp stick. Reboot yourself to the state humanity was in before we decided that an organized society was a better survival strategy than "to each his own".

Good luck with all that.

Thank's Everybody!

I tried to make this the closing comment on emawkc's awesome Birthday Roast, but unsurprisingly, I droned on a bit too long.

"Your HTML cannot be accepted: Must be at most 4,096 characters"

So I brought all of my comments over here as a

Wow. This was pretty amazing. There was obviously some advance planning that went into this, but y'all did a hell of a lot better job keeping secrets than anybody in Washington, because this came as a complete surprise.

As is traditional in these things, the Roastee gets the last word.
First, I'd like to thank emawkc for throwing this little shindig.

Emawkc was one of the very first people to ever leave a comment on my blog and I've considered him to be a friend ever since.

Although I'm quite fond of emawkc, he's absolutely wrong on every political and social subject of any importance. I seriously worry that he may have some sort of brain tumor. Something ain't hooked up right in that increasingly follicularly challenged noggin of his.

But I have to give him props. He managed to pull off a fairly elaborate birthday celebration without spending a fucking dime.

Cheap bastard.

But I don't want anyone to feel too bad for Keith. He seemed to enjoy obtaing my "DNA sample". He even suggested we "do this again sometime" and promised to call, which he never did.

Fucker.

Logtar - What is this magical "abacus" of which you speak. Is it in someway superior to my trusty clay tablet and stick?

Spyder - My balls only clang if I'm going commando, but the spikes do tend to chafe a bit.

Eolai - True story!

Absolutely Feisty - You know the feeling is mutual. You are one of the most important people in my... wait.... "I'm not even sure in what city Woodstock was held... maybe my mom knows?" WTF, bitch?!? You steppin' to me? LOL!

Muddy Mo - "People don’t invite XO out anymore — they go without him and live tweet him about it". True dat! Sad part is, I kinda prefer it that way.

Shane - "he's old enough that he was around for the Creation" That was a wild and crazy day! Very hectic, as I recall. There was so much extra work that had to be done to make shit look like it was so much older than it really was.

Nightmare - Good stuff!

Cara - That's some primo material right there!

Doc - "reading X.O. you just know he was old loooooong ago" Funny you should say that. When I was in my 20's a woman told me she could tell I had a "very old soul". Although I found te statement interesting, it didn't sound like anything that would get me laid, so I filed it away.

Nuke718 - "I have seen no picture of him with women" You, sir, have not been paying attention! http://www.flickr.com/photos/8058646@N06/2946014638/

M.M. - You're the best of the best, man. Of course you did have some "alone time" in which to hone your writing skills. :)

Chris Packham - "...not with a wet, farty splat on the pavement accompanied by a clattering spill of loose dentures and insulin injection paraphernalia." See, this is why I luv ya brutha (note the NON-GAY spellings!). You paint the word pictures. You're a fucking artist!

Donna - Thanks for stopping by!

TheDLC - "This guy is a gold mine" I interpret that to mean that gold mines are dark, dank dirty death traps that bring pain and suffering to greedy capitalists. Thanks, man!

Janet - Thanks for writing on my wall!

Average Jane - I'd be happy to grill you up another one any time you get the hankerin'.

Kanye West - You're a jackass.

Dan - "...when XO moved from Liberty to Independence, the average IQ of both places fell a couple points"?

That reminds me of Bilbo's toast. "I don't know half of you half as well as I should like; and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve."

It will take a mighty bit of pondering to work out whether there was a compliment in there or not!

Faith - Thank you!

Sandie - That cat was fucking begging for it! Little slut!

Well Hell Michelle - You are too kind. And I'm pretty sure you need better glasses and fewer meds.

Lee - "XO is so old he knew Thor the God of Thunder when he was still Torvald "Boom Boom" Jörgensen."

Dude, that is some funny fucking shit right there!
Thanks for staying in touch!

And thank all y'all for the birthday love.

I've really enjoyed this.

Now, who wants to help me move a sleeper-sofa from Olathe to the 2nd floor of my Independence townhouse? And by "help" I mean do all the moving while I worry about you scratching the walls?

Hey! Where did everybody go?

Hello? (hello) [hello]

The Post Remco Years and The Birth of MAST

As I explained in the last chapter of The Remco Years, Dan and I wound up sharing a house at 65th and Oak.

After leaving Remco, I could no longer afford my apartment in Raytown and no longer had access to the Remco delivery van for my personal transportation. All I had was a 10-speed bike.

Living with Dan was supposed to be a short term solution on my way to bigger things.

I had a high school buddy who moved to San Francisco. His older sister was an architect out there who helped him get established.

I was going to to room with Dan for a while, save up some money, and take my 10-speed and meager possessions to San Francisco where I would room with my friend Chris.

This was my reasoning.

Most of the guys in SF are gay, therefore any straight, single women in SF will be "easy pickin's" for young straight guys! Did I mention I was like 23 years old and STUPID?

I viewed San Francisco as what Dan, a formal Naval Aviator, would have referred to as a "target rich environment" with plenty of opportunity for me to "lay down a load of ordinance", if you know whet I'm sayin'!

Putz!

But this was a time when on a Friday or Saturday night, I would ride my 10-speed down to Westport (all downhill, btw), chain it to a lamp post and start whoring around at The New Stanley, Kelly's, Buzzard Beach, Blaney's, Lone Star or anywhere else within walking distance.

If I "got lucky", we would toss my 10-speed into the trunk of her car and head back to my place. So even before I got her home, I had "junk in her trunk". Hellz yeah.

However. If I didn't get lucky (more often than not), I was pedaling my drunk ass home from 39th and Broadway to 65th and Oak, uphill all the fucking way. Not as easy or as fun as it sounds!

But I digress.

After a few months of drawing unemployment, I finally got a job as a bill collector for an ambulance service.

My experience collecting payments for Remco made me marginally qualified to be a bill collector. The location of the office at 58th & Troost put it well within my 10-speed commuting radius.

I don't remember the name of the ambulance company that hired me.

This would have been 1978-79. Kansas City was littered with independent ambulance companies. Anybody with enough cash to buy a van, toss in some medical supplies, bolt a flashing light on top and meet a few basic criteria could start up an ambulance business.

This was the unfettered, free market, capitalist version of providing emergency services.

Needless to say, it was complete shit.

These small business entrepreneurs only wanted to do business where it was profitable. Places like Johnson County, where everyone had insurance were peppered with services. You couldn't swing a dead homeless person without hitting 3 brightly painted, well equipped, state of the art ambulances.

In the inner city, you'd be lucky to find a single converted ice cream truck with the old Circus Delight stickers still in place equipped with nothing but a Katz Drug first aid kit, an old Army cot. They didn't have flashing lights or sirens. They just rang the ice cream truck bell REALLY LOUD with a sense of urgency!

Needless to say, this FREE MARKET arrangement left a lot of room for uneven and inadequate service. A lot of people died because they were poor.

Kansas City made the (correct) decision that this was unacceptable. They decided to buy out all of the independent ambulance companies and consolidate them into a Municipal Ambulance Services Trust (MAST).

That's right. in 1979 Kansas City SOCIALIZED ambulance services because they recognized that having a central authority with a consistent set of standards for customer care was superior to having a DECENTRALIZED, MARKET DRIVEN approach to caring for people who need emergency care.

Kansas City had the contract for manging the new MAST system up for bid. All of the existing ambulance companies wanted that contract!

The company that hired me hired 2 other experienced collectors. Their goal was to get their accounts receivable in order REALLY QUICK so they could come out on top as the most fiscally responsible municipal ambulance company and win the bid to control MAST.

Despite our best efforts, our company lost. But we must have been a major player, because our office became the HQ for the new MAST.

I stayed long enough to wind up with some legacy business cards with the MAST name and logo. Don't remember if I quit or was a victim of the consolidation of all of those different ambulance companies.

With all of the recent news about MAST being absorbed into the KCFD, it's interesting to reflect back on a much more chaotic environment.

It's fun to watch the city attempting to make an already socialized service even more socialized.

Funny shit!

My Favorite Time Of Year

September and October.

My birthday, the beginning of Autumn, the changing of the leaves, the dominance of cooler temperatures (summer can kiss my big black ass), the Harvest Moon, the Renaissance Festival, Halloween.

It's time to crank open my cedar chest.








Sixty one glorious days.

9/11

Not the 9/11 8 years ago. A lot of other bloggers have that anniversary covered and I've covered it before too.

I can't imagine that I have anything unique or insightful to add that hasn't been said before.

I'm talking about the 9/11 two years ago.

Greg and Michelle organized the first Blogger Meet that I attended. It was at Harry's Country Club in April, 2007.

I can't claim Greg as a friend. I only encountered him 3 times over 5 months before he died. Fate didn't allow us the opportunity to become friends.

Greg was a blogging pioneer. He started Death's Door in November of 2002! Reading his blog inspired me to start my own in 2006. He had already been at it for 4 years!

What impressed me about Greg was, he didn't just cut and paste from public web sites and add snarky comments in a lame attempt to be some wannabe-journalist.

Greg was, above all else, a story teller. The man had a gift, even when he was telling you how to make fried chicken. He knew how to spin a yarn. He was a consummate writer.

He didn't have to rely on controversial, sensationalist, troll-fodder to attract readers. He was the real deal.

Although he wasn't above posting NSFW pics to accentuate a post, he didn't take the pussified path of posting poached GQ and Maxim bikini pics that he thought might past muster and get liked by mainstream outlets.

Oh no.

Greg would google shit like "monkeys fucking one-legged gay hermaphrodite midgets on horseback in Amsterdam while smoking hash" just to see what came back.



Sometimes it would illustrate a post he had already written, sometimes it would inspire new one.

Greg had a unique and distinctive voice which is sorely missed.

His family and friends mourn his loss while they celebrate his life.

His readers miss his posts and the Kansas City blogosphere is a lesser place without him.

Liberal Education vs. Conservative Education

A liberal education is about:

- Fostering critical thinking skills.
- Giving students a rational framework to distinguish fact from fiction.
- Exposing students to a wide array of information.
- Letting the students exercise their critical thinking skills by digesting the information, deciding what is fact and what is fiction, and forming their own conclusions.
- Encouraging them to constantly question authority, question the status quo and challenge "established facts" using their critical thinking skills.

A conservative education consists of:

- Establishing an Authoritative Source for All Knowledge.
- Disseminating that knowledge by rote memorization.
- Locking the doors on the knowledge. Nothing you hear after this is true. Stick with what you know.
- When faced with new information that contradicts the established Authoritative Source, close your eyes, plug your ears, recite the facts you know, and wait for the new information to go away.
- Under no circumstances should conservatives ever doubt what they "know to be true", no matter how compelling the evidence to the contrary.

I ask you. Which of these approaches to absorbing complex information, analyzing data and making decisions makes the most sense as an approach for solving societies problems?

Go!

Public Education! A Liberal, Socialist Agenda!

Today, some conservative parents kept their kids out of school to prevent them from hearing the President of the United States tell American students that it was important for them to stay in school.

:: blink ::

I'll just wait right here while the full weight of the idiocy sinks in.

Actually, maybe they are right. After all, the entire American Public Education System is about as socialistic as you can possibly get.

- Everything is paid for with YOUR TAX DOLLARS.
- The curriculum, textbooks and criteria for graduation is determined by the STATE BOARD OF EDUCATION.
- The teachers, administrators, managers and regulators are all EMPLOYEES OF THE STATE.

If the conservatives had their way, there would be no "public option" for educating your children.

In a true Free Market society, there would only be private schools competing for students.

If you couldn't afford the hefty tuition required to pay for teacher salaries, textbooks, classroom infrastructure and supplies, then you're kids would just be fucked.

They wouldn't get an education. Because they don't deserve one.

Because you suck for being poor. It's your fault your kids will only be able to work in the same unregulated factories and mines that you work in. LOSER!

President Obama's Scary Back To School Speech

Wow. Such stunning ignorance and paranoia. Afraid to let the President of the United States of America address American school children? Really?

The White House released the text of the address the President will give tomorrow. You can read the entire address here.

I've read the entire speech. Here are some of the frightening, terrifying and clearly socialist highlights.

"Now I’ve given a lot of speeches about education. And I’ve talked a lot about responsibility.

I’ve talked about your teachers’ responsibility for inspiring you, and pushing you to learn.

I’ve talked about your parents’ responsibility for making sure you stay on track, and get your homework done, and don’t spend every waking hour in front of the TV or with that Xbox.

I’ve talked a lot about your government’s responsibility for setting high standards, supporting teachers and principals, and turning around schools that aren’t working where students aren’t getting the opportunities they deserve.

But at the end of the day, we can have the most dedicated teachers, the most supportive parents, and the best schools in the world – and none of it will matter unless all of you fulfill your responsibilities. Unless you show up to those schools; pay attention to those teachers; listen to your parents, grandparents and other adults; and put in the hard work it takes to succeed.

And that’s what I want to focus on today: the responsibility each of you has for your education. I want to start with the responsibility you have to yourself."

Notice all that talk about taking responsibility? Clearly part of the leftist/socialist agenda! We can't have the President of the United States urging parents, teachers and the students themselves to take responsibility for their parts in educating our children! What possible good could come from that?

But wait! There is more of this insidiousness.

"Every single one of you has something you’re good at. Every single one of you has something to offer. And you have a responsibility to yourself to discover what that is. That’s the opportunity an education can provide.

Maybe you could be a good writer – maybe even good enough to write a book or articles in a newspaper – but you might not know it until you write a paper for your English class. Maybe you could be an innovator or an inventor – maybe even good enough to come up with the next iPhone or a new medicine or vaccine – but you might not know it until you do a project for your science class. Maybe you could be a mayor or a Senator or a Supreme Court Justice, but you might not know that until you join student government or the debate team.

And no matter what you want to do with your life – I guarantee that you’ll need an education to do it. You want to be a doctor, or a teacher, or a police officer? You want to be a nurse or an architect, a lawyer or a member of our military? You’re going to need a good education for every single one of those careers. You can’t drop out of school and just drop into a good job. You’ve got to work for it and train for it and learn for it."

No thinking person can possibly deny the socialist agenda embedded in this. Telling children that every single one of them is good at something, has something to offer and can discover it and achieve it if they stay in school, get an education and work hard? How is capitalism supposed to survive if everyone can achieve success? If every one becomes a "have", where will the "have nots" come from? That's just crazy talk?

"Some of you might not have those advantages. Maybe you don’t have adults in your life who give you the support that you need. Maybe someone in your family has lost their job, and there’s not enough money to go around. Maybe you live in a neighborhood where you don’t feel safe, or have friends who are pressuring you to do things you know aren’t right.

But at the end of the day, the circumstances of your life – what you look like, where you come from, how much money you have, what you’ve got going on at home – that’s no excuse for neglecting your homework or having a bad attitude. That’s no excuse for talking back to your teacher, or cutting class, or dropping out of school. That’s no excuse for not trying.

Where you are right now doesn’t have to determine where you’ll end up. No one’s written your destiny for you. Here in America, you write your own destiny. You make your own future."

Again with the browbeating! The heavy-handed message that through personal responsibility, education and hard work you can improve your life and succeed! Who does this guy think he is, talking to our kids like that?

"And even when you’re struggling, even when you’re discouraged, and you feel like other people have given up on you – don’t ever give up on yourself. Because when you give up on yourself, you give up on your country.

The story of America isn’t about people who quit when things got tough. It’s about people who kept going, who tried harder, who loved their country too much to do anything less than their best.

It’s the story of students who sat where you sit 250 years ago, and went on to wage a revolution and found this nation. Students who sat where you sit 75 years ago who overcame a Depression and won a world war; who fought for civil rights and put a man on the moon. Students who sat where you sit 20 years ago who founded Google, Twitter and Facebook and changed the way we communicate with each other.

So today, I want to ask you, what’s your contribution going to be? What problems are you going to solve? What discoveries will you make? What will a president who comes here in twenty or fifty or one hundred years say about what all of you did for this country?"

This sounds suspiciously like that other horrible socialist who challenged the students of a previous generation by saying "Ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country!" It doesn't get anymore un-American than that!

"But you’ve got to do your part too. So I expect you to get serious this year. I expect you to put your best effort into everything you do. I expect great things from each of you. So don’t let us down – don’t let your family or your country or yourself down. Make us all proud. I know you can do it."

Parents, DON'T LET YOUR KIDS HEAR THIS STUFF! IT'S DANGEROUS AND SCARY!

Second Chance For My Birthday

Last month I posted some ideas for possible birthday gifts for me. I did this as a public service to my friends so they wouldn't have to guess what I might like.

Well, apparently some of you cheap-ass, stingy bastards hadn't thought to set aside several million or billion dollars to to get me a little something to show me your love.

Fine.

I can lower my expectations. Lord knows I'm no stranger to disappointment.

:: sigh ::

So here is a much more realistic list of casual, knock-off, budget-minded tokens that you can toss at me without me thinking you just don't give a shit.

I hope you're happy. Here goes.

I like swords and own a couple. But I don't have a Samurai sword. So this would be acceptable.



Kami Katana: Price: $1,150.00

I like Science Fiction, so something from here would be nice.



Along those same lines, something from this place would make a nice little conversation piece.



I wouldn't turn my nose up at a modest new chair.



Especially if you could combine it with a gaming console like this:



I'm really very easy to please. I don't ask for much.

What A Nice Surprise!

Today, through the power of Twitter, I had an awesome and totally spontaneous lunch at Swagger with Three O'Clock In The Morning, Kansas City Lunch Spots, KC Beer Blog, Sponge Worthy and Kansas City With The Russian Accent.

I spend the afternoon driving around and searching for blogspiration, only to come home and find that I've won an award!



I declare that a pretty good fucking way to start a 4 day weekend!

Wah, Wah, Wah!

"TAKE OUR COUNTRY BACK!"

This is the rallying cry at those tea-bag rallies. They love to hold up signs that say it and chant it. I think there's even some country song about it.

"TAKE OUR COUNTRY BACK!"

Just think about what that means.

Apparently, these right wing fanatics are under the impression that the United States belongs exclusively to them, somebody else has taken it away from them, they're pissed, and they want to take it back.

Take, take, take. Big surprise.

I guess it's time for a little Government 101 primer.

First of all, no one "took" anything away from you and you're not going to "take" anything back.

There was an election. A majority of the American electorate voted the Republicans out of power and put the Democrats in charge. With a controlling majority.

The people in charge of the country before the election were Americans who wanted to take the country in one direction.

The people in charge of the country now are Americans, voted into office by other Americans, who want to take the country in a different direction.

If the Republicans want to be the party in charge again, they should work on formulating new policies and fielding new candidates that a majority of other Americans will vote for in the next election.

But all of this angry yelling and screaming and talk about "taking" things from other Americans and showing up at rallies carrying firearms is, well, counter productive and a little childish.

You don't sound like patriots, you don't sound like revolutionaries. No one is frightened or threatened by your cardboard signs and spittle.

What you sound like is a six year old throwing a fit because another kid is playing with your favorite GI Joe.

You need to learn how to play nice and take turns.

Relax. You'll get your fucking doll back. As soon as we're done playing with it.

Henry Fonda Explains Why Gitmo Interregators Should Be Prosecuted

I Must Be Missing Something

So the much-hyped Joe Miller Salon.com story came out today about his brief brush with power and fame, Kansas City style.

What a fucking yawn fest.

I apologize in advance because I know this is going to sound harsh and mean-spirited. I don't mean it to be. I'm just really confused.

When I first started blogging over 3 years ago, Joe Miller was "kind of a big deal".

Joe Miller was a big-time blogger.

Joe Miller wrote a book.

Joe Miller's book won some award.

Joe Miller's book might be made into a movie.

Joe Miller was hired to be Mark Funkhouser's Communication Director.

Joe Miller.

Joe Miller.

Joe Miller.

Another local blogger even gave Joe Miller the video equivalent of a big slobbery blow job, which he later took down after his little feelers got hurt.

Here is the source of my confusion.

I used to follow Miller's blog. I used to follow him on twitter. I read his Salon.com article.

I just don't get it. I have never read anything my Joe Miller that made me want to read anything else by Joe Miller.

Everything he chose to blog about was boring.

Everything he tweeted about was boring.

I never read his book, mostly because it sounded boring and had the longest, most confusing and boring title I've ever seen.

"Cross-X: The Amazing True Story of How the Most Unlikely Team from the Most Unlikely of Places Overcame Staggering Obstacles at Home and at School to Challenge ... Community on Race, Power, and Education"

I don't know if the ellipses are actually part of the title or if Amazon just said "Fuck it, we're taking some of this shit in the middle out because it's too goddamn long!"

Seriously, Joe? Couldn't come up with a title like "Gravity's Rainbow", or "The Stand"?

Help me out here! I'm no writer. I don't have the credentials to pass judgement on someone who makes his living getting paid to write. No one has ever paid me to write a word.

But I've been reading for the better part of half a century and I know boring when I read it.

His narrative is as dry, dusty and unappealing as my dead grandmother's vajayjay.

Just look at the Salon.com article. He took a subject that actually had some inherent drama and interest and he sucked all of the life and juiciness right out of it and turned it into an antiseptic political post mortem filled with a lot of metaphysical and moral ass covering.

I need somebody smarter and more talented than me to help me out. What am I missing?

How is it possible that Joe Miller gets paid for writing but Mark Smith doesn't?

That's just fucking crazy.