Parental Promises vs. Parental Ethics

Back in September of last year I wrote about my daughter's desire to get her lip pierced and the Great Compromise.

In a nutshell, I said NO to any facial piercings or any tattoos until she turned 18 and didn't need my permission. In exchange I reversed my position on her previous request to get her belly button pierced.

I specifically remember asking her what her mother said about this arrangement and her reply was "As long as you are willing to take me and sign the permission slip it's OK with her, but she won't do it."

I remember thinking that seemed a bit strange. Either she agrees or doesn't agree...what difference does it make which one of us takes her and signs the paper?

Well. Got a voice mail from the 2nd ex tonight. GTO desperately wants to get her lip pierced for her birthday on Sunday. Told her mom she promised not to wear it around me.

I called the ex back and explained the Great Compromise. Turns out GTO's version of her mother's position wasn't exactly accurate. The ex was dead set against the belly button piercing or any other piercings. Period!

In fact, GTO used that as an example of something that I was willing to do in spite of her mother's objections, therefore, her mother should be willing to do this over my objections.

Yeah, we ain't playing that shit.

Her mother and I have reached an agreement that neither one of us will agree to or authorize any more piercings for GTO. Not no where, not no how, not no way.

Which means, I will be forced to go back on My Word. Something I've never done before.

But I'm mostly OK with it for a couple of reasons.

As our marriage was crumbling and we were going through a painful divorce, we agreed to always put GTO first, to always present a united front, and to never, ever, let her "play" us.

And that is exactly what GTO tried to do. She tried to play me by misrepresenting her mother's position, and she tried to play her mother by throwing me under the bus!

That doesn't make her a bad person. It makes her a 15 year old girl who wants something.

But I feel like my promise to allow her to get her belly button pierced was obtained under false premises and that voids My Word.

So, because I value the input from my friends and readers, what do you think?

Is a promise a promise? Should I have kept My Word regardless?

Or is it more important for both parents (no matter how much I may despise the crazy bitch) pull together and present a united front when it comes to what's best for the child?

Discuss.