Coach Doesn’t Let Birth Get In The Way Of Leading Team To State

This such an extreme case of unbelievably fucked up priorities that words damn near escape me.

Damn near.

"The Lipan (Texas) High girls basketball coach led her team to a regional semifinal victory on Friday, then gave birth to her third child a few hours later. With the regional final scheduled for Saturday, it was assumed that the coach would miss her team's chance to advance to the state playoffs, but Branson had other ideas.

Instead of taking a well-earned day off, Branson returned to the bench on Saturday, leading Lipan to a come-from-behind, 45-41 victory over Newcastle, sending the Indians to the state semifinals for the first time in eight years.

I was pretty tired," an incredibly understated Branson told the Associated Press of her return to the court just hours after giving birth. "I never felt like I couldn't do it. God's been good to me this week."

In fact, Branson's claim that her between-games birth was fated may have something to it. The coach reached a hospital in Abilene, where the regional finals were being played, about 9 p.m., shortly after her team's regional semi victory. By 10 p.m., daughter Leslie had already been born, a labor too quick to even allow for an epidural injection.

Yet, had Branson received that epidural shot, she might not have been able to recover in time to coach the game on Saturday, even though doing so did require her to leave Leslie behind in the hospital for a few hours.

"That was all part of God's plan. If I had the epidural, I might not have been able to make [the game]," Branson said."

Jesus Fucking Christ. This is so fucked up I don't even know where to start!

The woman just gave birth to her child, but she thinks it is OK to leave her newborn daughter behind to go coach a fucking high school basketball game?!?

What kind of fucked up values and priorities elevate a fucking basketball game above, well, anything?

I'm thinking the birth of your own child takes absolute, unprecedented priority above everything else in the world.

Personally, I think the fact that she would elevate a fucking sport, a goddamn high school basketball game, above her own newborn daughter should call in to question her fitness to be a mother.

All sports are just stupid jocks playing games for the entertainment of even dumber and less talented fans.

There is absolutely nothing in this world less important than sports.

They don't feed the hungry, they don't save lives, they don't educate children.

They are the equivalent of the Roman Colosseum games meant to distract the citizens from the actual issues and problems that need to be addressed.

When mothers start viewing their own children as less important than a Goddamn basketball game, our society is doomed.

Clarification On My Comment Moderation Policy

The reason I implemented Comment Moderation was because I was starting to recieve a lot of annoying spam comments.

That resulted in anyone following one of my posts also getting annoying spam comments. I started getting complaints about the spam.

The ONLY reason I moderate comments is to protect my followers from spam.

That being said, I apologize for the fact that I sometimes get so busy downloading mature lesbian midget BDSM porn that I forget to check if there are pending comments that need to be moderated.

But I can assure you that 99.9999999% of all comments will be published. Yes, even yours.

It's Like I'm Back In Junior Fucking High

If you've been following my blog for any amount of time at all, you know several things about me.

1. I'm a verbose asshole who loves the sound of his fingers hitting the keyboard as much (if not more) than Rush Limbaugh loves the sound of his own voice and his Oxycontin filled Twinkies with the special Vicodin frosting.

2. I hate, Hate HATE those Social Media folks who want to turn every tweet, every blog post and every comment into a fully monetized, brand reinforcing, revenue generating tool of our capitalist, corporate, Overlords. (Except of course, my friends who make their living doing this. They are exempt from my contempt. Love you guys! Call me! Let's do lunch!)

3. I'm a fiercely loyal friend.

So with that as the background, this is what went down.

I saw some shit on a friend's Facebook page that appeared to be a member of a group of Social Media douchebags that I distanced myself from a long time ago trying to turn my friend's happy occasion into a marketing opportunity.

I got pissed and spoke my mind. Ya know, like ya do.

Turns out I totally misread the situation. Took shit out of context. It happens. My bad.

But the victim of my Righteous Indignation (who I really don't like anyway) decided to cop an attitude.

He sent me a message on Facebook explaining his side of things. Fair enough. He probably should have stopped there.

But like me, this fucker doesn't seem to know when to shut the fuck up. He had to go and close his message with this:

"I would suggest that it would be advantageous for you to check things out before making taking ad hominem pot shots.

Finally, I regard unsubstantiated and defamatory attacks on my business and character as libel, regardless of the mutual friends we might share and I will pursue vigorous legal action if you should choose to do this again.

I expect a full apology in writing."

Seriously? He wants something in writing? From me?

Be careful what you ask for!

Here is what he got. Only the names have been changed.

"Oh You Insufferable Little Prick.

I'll try to keep this short (although I do tend to be one verbose sonofabitch) because responding to you is taking valuable time away from downloading porn.

First of all, this is the Internet. No one takes the time "... to check things out before making taking ad hominem pot shots." Why? Because, you guessed it. It too takes time away from downloading porn and is therefore not very important.

As far as your hollow threat of "vigorous legal action" is concerned you can go pound sand up your ass. If everyone who thought someone had been mean to them on the internet could sue for libel both the legal system and the internet would have ground to a halt years ago.

As for an apology, I have already apologized to My Friend for taking a big fat shit in his punch bowl and he has accepted same. That is the only apology that will be forthcoming from me.

But it could have been different. After My Friend explained to me the context in which the photos were posted and your correction was offered, it made perfect sense that you would want the attribution to be corrected. You may have recieved an apology from me.

But you sure as fuck aren't receiving one from me after your pompous response to the situation.

I gotta tell ya You Insufferable Little Prick. I've only met you a couple of times. I followed you on Twitter for a while and visited your blog and website. To be perfectly honest, you've always come across as an arrogant asshat with just a hint of douchery. Nothing about this most recent encounter has done anything to soften my perception.

So, please, when you get a minute, go take a flying fuck at a rolling donut.

Yours in Christ,

Xavier Onassis"

First Light

So me and my new Nikon D3100 decided to take advantage of the nice weather to get out and enjoy some quality time together.

Captain America - Oh Fuck Yeah

I Missed My Blogiversary!

I started this piece of shit blog on January 23, 2006.

I've been wasting your time for over 5 years now. Your continued indulgence and patience is greatly appreciated.

My first post was a vaguely-veiled, lame-assed rant about Marrrrrria Antonnnnnnia and other reporters who feel compelled to properly pronounce Spanish words only and not all of the other foreign words..

But strangely enough (given today's headlines), I also name-dropped Hosni Mubarak.

Weird.

XO's Brekkie Sammich

This is a pretty simple yet tasty treat.


Spread the honey butter on one side of the cinnamon raisin bread and put it under the broiler so only one side gets toasted.


Fry up an egg in some real butter.


Go ahead and break the yolk so you don't wind up with a bulky liquid center.


Flip it over.


Slap some cheese on it.


QUICK!!! GET THE FUCKING BREAD OUT OF THE OVEN BEFORE IT BURNS, DIPSHIT!!! Jesus Fucking Christ that was close. You almost ruined breakfast. Putz!


Assemble the Brekkie Sammich and enjoy with some ice cold milk.

Bone Apa Teet!